Shenny at the Movies: The Cartesian System
by pebbles and runes
Summary: A late entry for the Shenny Movie challenge (I could not resist). Young Penny and Sheldon decide to run away. Everyone else is along for the ride.


**Shenny at the Movies: The Cartesian System**

1 Chapter long: Yup.

Up to 2500 words: 2,070 give or take…

Must be able to recognize characters: I think so.

Deadline: January 1, 2016 (More than a day late and a dollar short, but *shrugs*) I found out about this challenge and figured I would write something anyway. It's my first fic of the New Year as well as the first thing that I have written and finished in a long while. The movie is _Moonrise Kingdom_ , directed by Wes Anderson, which I love way more than I should.

Disclaimers apply. I do not own The Big Bang Theory, Moonrise Kingdom or any of the characters.

 **The Cartesian System**

* * *

 _Dear Penny,_

 _Here is my plan…_

 _/_

 _Dear Sheldon,_

 _My answer is yes…_

 _/_

 _Dear Penny,_

 _Walk a hundred yards due north from your house to the dirt path which does not have any name on it. Turn right to the end. I will meet you in the meadow._

* * *

"Who's missing?"

There was a murmur along the table until the voices came to a consensus. "Sheldon Cooper."

Ah. "Cooper, breakfast!"

There was no response. He called again before he made his way over to the last tent at the end of the row. Unzipping the all- weather tarp revealed the inside to be as neat and orderly as ever but empty except for a letter tacked neatly to the board. A search revealed the hole hidden behind a map.

"Jiminy Cricket, he flew the coop."

* * *

Dear Scout Master Gabelhauser,

I regret to inform you I can no longer be involved with the Khaki Scouts of North America. The rest of the troop will probably be glad to hear this. It is not your fault.

Best Wishes,

Sheldon Lee Cooper

* * *

Khaki Scout Troop 55 huddled in a semi circle.

"I heard he ran away because his family died."

"I heard he never had any family to begin with."

"Probably why he's crazy."

"I'll tell you one thing," Kripke smirked. "If we find him, I'm not going to be the one who forgot to bring a weapon."

Everyone else murmured in agreement.

* * *

Her mother ran out of the house. "She has a pen pal; it's very intimate. They planned this together."

The Officer peered closer at the letters. "Sheldon Cooper? That's my escaped khaki scout. His family died. "

"Crap on a cracker, what the hell am I looking at here?" Penny's father picked up one letter.

"It's formulae. Mostly string theory but a few on dark matter."

* * *

The Officer stared at the motley crew of adults and khaki scouts reluctantly involved in the seemingly bizarre situation.

"Alright, we know they're together. We know they're in a certain radius of this spot. I'm declaring a case with the county right now. Until help arrives, I'm deputizing the little guy, the sweaty one, and four eyes. The rest of you head upriver then split up on foot."

* * *

Troop 55's first skirmish with Cooper and his sharp eyed, blonde haired companion did not go well.

"What do you cretins want?"

"We're looking for you, Cooper."

"Why? I quit the khaki scouts."

"You don't have that authority. Are you gonna come along peacefully or not?"

"Think about this logically, Kripke: I don't like you and you don't like me so why don't you just let us disappear?"

"Tempting, but we can't allow it."

Wheaton tried to reason with the blonde behind the escaped scout.

"You know you shouldn't be friends with him. He's crazy." He brandished a knife to emphasize the point.

"No, he's not. His foster home had him tested. Maybe you just don't know him."

The troop crept closer. They outnumbered him six to one.

"You're doomed, Cooper."

Sunlight glinted off weapons and the blonde's flashing green eyes as Kripke charged the two on his motorbike.

* * *

It ended with Troop 55 running for cover, Kripke bleeding, and a wrecked motorbike. Penny and Sheldon both stared at the smouldering wreckage tangled in the tree line. The girl sighed mournfully.

"Alicia's right. I do go berserk."

"It was him or us."

* * *

"Wyatt, it's pretty clear the two of them conspired in this together."

"Don't worry Mr. Fourby, she'll be safe. Sheldon has excellent wilderness skills," Gabelhauser added. Penny's father erupted.

"Why can't you control these beige lunatics?!"

"I- I'm trying."

His flustered answer made Wyatt throw a shoe in frustration.

"Hey, stop it!" The Officer intervened. "I do blame him but I also blame myself and both of you. With all due respect, you can't let your children stab people."

"What are you talking about?"

"She's violent, Mrs. Fourby. She stabbed one of my troop members with scissors."

"Excuse me." They all turned at the sound. There stood a dark haired man. He was dressed warmly despite the mild weather.

"As some of you know, I taught Sheldon for the cartography accomplishment button. He's a smart boy and expressed a keen interest in the history of the area, particularly the spots where he could chart and document certain celestial mechanics."

He paused to take in the blank stares.

"What I'm getting at is this: I think I know where they're going."

* * *

They set up camp, the wind gusting under a darkening, cloudless sky. Sitting close together but not touching, he listened to her hum tunelessly, an unexpectedly pleasant counter melody to the scrawl of his pen against paper. It was easy to feel warm as he remembered how easily she let him take inventory and reorganise her pack and talk endlessly about wilderness tips (mostly) without complaining. Bickering with her felt natural and while she knew little about academics he was comfortable calling her an equal.

"Tell me again, about your scribbles and ancient Greece and the night sky."

He blushed as he spoke into the cool evening air. For him it was more intimate than sitting exposed in his underwear. She was leaning against her pack, eyes intently focused on him but open and accepting. He knew she did not understand but it was enough that she listened. Being there with her on the shallow coastline in the fading light, he had found his single point of consistency.

They were discovered the next morning.

* * *

"This is Social Services; I'm calling in reference to Sheldon Cooper, a ward of the State. I'll come tomorrow morning if that's acceptable to you. Is someone able to provide care and nourishment for the boy until that time? "

At the Officer's reply, she continued.

"Very good. I'll contact you again before the end of the day."

"Wait a second, what's going to happen to him?"

"Well, normally we would try to place him in another foster home but that option is no longer available in my opinion due to his case history. He'll probably go to juvenile refugee but first the admissions panel requires a psychological evaluation to determine whether the boy is a candidate for institutional treatment or electroshock therapy."

The Officer and Gabelhauser stiffened.

"Excuse me, shock therapy? Why would that be called for, he's not violent."

The woman from Social Services checked the report to verify. "There is an account of an attack with scissors."

"That was the girl!" Both men exclaimed.

"Well, maybe she needs help too but that's not our job." The woman appeared unmoved.

* * *

Troop 55, sans Kripke, crowded the treehouse in a late night card game.

"I heard he's going to reform school."

"I heard they're gonna take out part of his brain, send him to an insane asylum."

"I like his girl," Hofstadter admitted.

"She's too scruffy for me."

"Supposedly they got to third base." Wolowitz waggled his eyebrows.

"That's not true; they just felt each other up."

"Over shirt or under shirt?" Bloom asked.

A thump caused the chatter to fall silent.

"That's none of our business!" Koothrappali snarled. He looked around the table.

"This troop has been very shabby to Field Mate Sheldon Cooper. In fact, we've been a bunch of mean jerks. I admit, he might be emotionally disturbed but as a fellow khaki scout he needs our help. Now, do we have the balls to do that so part of his brain doesn't get removed out of him?"

Wheaton crossed his arms. "What do you need?"

* * *

 **SUPPLY CHECKLIST**

3 yards CHICKEN WIRE [X]

Ripped up newspapers [some] [X]

WHEAT-PASTE, 1 BUCKET [X]

Name Koothrappali_ No. Troop 55 

* * *

He was already resigned to his fate when he heard noises from the fireplace. Looking past the dangling rope, he scowled up at Hofstadter.

"Get out of my chimney. No one is allowed in my chimney."

"Listen to me. We're here for friendship. We're going to get you off this island."

"No thanks."

"Yes, thanks. This is an emergency rescue."

Sheldon shook his head. "It's worthless to me. There's no point, not without Penny."

His fellow scout leaned back allowing a familiar face to take his spot. He took in her features.

"Penny," He could not help but breathe her name. "How did you get here?"

"They snuck me down the laundry chute and left a papier-mâché dummy in my bed," she smiled.

"Ah, diversion tactics. Good thinking."

* * *

"Where are we going?"

"Fort Lebanon. Cousin Bob runs the supply and resources outpost there. He'll know what to do."

"Can he be trusted?"

"Under normal circumstances, no."

* * *

Cousin Bob Underhill, a Falcon Scout Legionnaire who Troop 55 paid seventy-six dollars (mostly in nickels) for his services scrutinised them.

"I can't offer you a legally binding union. It won't hold up in the state, the county or frankly any courtroom in the world due to your age, lack of a license, and failure to get parental consent. But the ritual does carry a very important moral weight within yourselves; you can't enter into this lightly. Look into my eyes. Do you love each other?"

"Yes, we do." Sheldon's arm rested on her shoulders.

"Think about what I'm saying. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes, we are."

Cousin Bob looked towards the sky. "They're not listening to me. Let me rephrase this-"

"Look, we're kinda in a hurry," Penny interrupted.

"I don't like the snappy attitude, sister. This is the most important decision you've made in your lives. Now go over there and talk it out before you give me another quick answer."

They walked off. The troop and Cousin Bob watched them talk, their voices low before rising suddenly in fierce argument. Without warning the small blonde knocked her beanpole of a partner into the ground. For a moment the two lay in the dirt, breaths slow and heavy, before she leaned over and kissed him on the nose. His wide, blue eyes were full of wonder as he watched her. No one knew what to say when they finally returned.

"We're sure."

/

"…Under the eye of God and within the boundaries of this local jurisdiction, which we hereby consecrate on this day. Do any of the witnesses have objections or remarks? Yes, Koothrappali?"

"Can we loan them the nickels? I'm worried about their future."

"That's my fee," Cousin Bob growled. Koothrappali turned to Wolowitz.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know."

"What'd I just say? That's my fee, I'm keeping the nickels." The man glared. It was a few moments before he relented, sliding the can of coins across to the couple.

"Sign and initial the receipt. Take the copy, leave the Bible."

Walking out of the chapel tent, Penny looked at the beautiful mind whose hand reached out to grasp her own and remembered his earnest, happy expression lit by the fire they had built on the beach. She lifted their entwined grip, kissing the back of his hand. She could give him this kind of forever.

* * *

Running back to the chapel was not wise but he would do it for her. He was surprised to see Kripke but figured it was just as well.

"Why do you consider me your enemy?" The light rain that had blessed his wedding was now a steady downpour.

"Because your girlfriend stabbed me in the back with scissors," Kripke scoffed.

"She's my wife now."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you, but I'm asking before that. Six weeks ago, day one." He found himself swallowing a lump in his throat. "Why didn't you like me?"

The injured boy shrugged. "Why should I? Nobody else does."

Sheldon digested the answer. A part of him was glad that was not completely true anymore.

* * *

"He's here! The fugitive! Stop him!"

* * *

They had been running and it all had led to this point. Standing on the church steeple in the sleeting rain, he could not help but feel terrified. The drop below ended in a dark current of water. Lightning and wind swirled against a backdrop of churning slate sky.

"We might have to swim for it." Penny's voice brought him out of his thoughts. The unrelenting torrent had matted his hair. Water clung to her cheeks.

"How deep is it? I didn't bring my life jacket."

"I don't know, but if it's too shallow, we'll break our necks anyway." A small wry smile twisted her lips and all at once he was sorry that he might never get to see the woman she would become. Green orbs locked with his.

"Hang on to me."

"Okay."

"On three-" He could feel the tension starting to coil in her frame.

"Wait. Just in case this is a suicide, or they capture us, and we never see each other again anymore… Thank you for marrying me." He watched a soft expression touch her face.

"I'm glad I know you, Penny."

They stared at each other a bit longer before her cold hand found his. He was ready, now.

"Let's jump."


End file.
